Other Eliquettes
Seating Arrangements
At the Funeral or Memorial Service it is good manners to show consideration for the bereaved by saving the first row of seats for the immediate family of the deceased – firstly, parents (including grandparents), spouse, children, sisters and brothers and their spouses. The next row should be saved for aunts and uncles, grandchildren, cousins, nieces and nephews and so on. In general, the closer the emotional attachment and blood relationship to the deceased the closer to the front they should be seated. Conversely, all the rest should be seated further back.
Memorial Gifts
A memorial gift is always appropriate, especially when the family has requested such a gift in lieu of flowers. Usually the family will designate a specific organization or charity. Remember to provide the family's name and address to the charity so they can send proper notification. It is acceptable to mention your gift in a sympathy note without mentioning the amount of the gift.
Register signing - is it for family only?
It is good funeral service etiquette for all who attend the funeral to sign the register and leave a short note stating your connection to the deceased otherwise the family may not know who you are. Your presence there will be appreciated by the family and they will probably want to acknowledge this by sending you a thank you card.
Is it usual Funeral Etiquette to send out thank you notes?
Anyone who presented or sent a gift or card to the family, deserves a thank you note. Examples would be to thank anyone who has sent in a memorial contribution, brought food to the house of the grieving family, sent flowers, signed the register at the funeral service or in some other tangible way acknowledged the death.
There is no official time frame in funeral service etiquette for writing notes of appreciation to those who have extended their condolences and kindness to you. The best thing is to work things through at your own pace. Another option, is to ask a close relative or friend to write some notes on your behalf. It's up to you.
Clergy - is it accepted funeral service etiquette to send an offering and thank you note?
A personal note is recommended for thanking your clergy person. If an honorarium or offering is sent, send it in a separate envelope. Do not include it with the thank you note.
Is it funeral service etiquette to view the deceased?
No. Viewing the deceased is not mandatory. However, it is customary to show your respects by viewing and spending a few moments in silent prayer.
Basic funeral service etiquette in the funeral procession.
If the funeral service is proceeding to a secondary location such as a cemetery, a funeral procession led by the hearse may be formed. Please turn on your headlights so you will be identified as part of the procession,
Graveside funeral service etiquette.
If there is a graveside service, the chairs at the coffin or casket are reserved for immediate family members.